It's Not Me!
by kymanismyotp
Summary: -Story's Time: at some point in Season 6- The 4 main boys are having a sleep over at Stan's. They want to find a solution how to get Kenny out of Cartman. But before Kenny leaves he wants Cartman to tell Kyle something important. Of course Cartman doesn't wanna let him, so Kenny will have to handle things by himself.- KYMAN - One-Shot - Rated T for language only - Written for Lali


**AN: I wrote this fanfiction for Lali's birthday. (:**

**(btw: I'm sorry if I made mistakes. I like English, but it's just not ma native language...)**

It takes place sometime in Season 6 where Kenny's soul is still trapped in Cartman's body. Enjoy!

* * *

"Stan, tell me once more, why are we doing this? He's annoying the fuck outta me again!" Kyle whispered to his best friend, while they watched Cartman, standing in Stan's kitchen in front of the fridge.

"Dude, we do it for Kenny!" Stan answered. The boys were having a sleep over at Stan's for trying to figure out how they could get their trapped friend out of Cartman.

"AY, NO, KINNEH!" They heard Cartman scream from the kitchen. "I don't want to eat that! I want to... AY- FUCK YOU!"

"Dude, what's the problem?"

Stan took the plate out of Cartman's hands.

_"But I wanna eat pizza!"_ Kenny said through Cartman's mouth.  
"BUT I DON'T WANNA!" Cartman shut his eyes and screamed in response.

"Dude, calm down!" Kyle looked annoyed at Cartman.

"Cartman, either you make a compromise with Kenny or you guys aren't gonna eat anything out of my fridge!" Stan put the plate back into the fridge again.

"But… Kiiiiiinnnneeeehhhh! I want to eat that cupcaaaake!" Cartman tried to persuade Kenny in his best voice.

"Ugh, dude!" Stan rolled his eyes and walked back into the living room. He sat on the couch and Kyle sat next to him.

They watched TV as Cartman came in, the plate with the cupcake in his hands.

He sat on the other couch and began to eat. "Guys, we actually wanted to find a method how to get this poor asshole outta mah body!"  
_  
"Yeah, get me out of this fatass!"_Kenny replied.

"AY- I'm NOT fat, you poor fuck!"

"Dude, it almost looks like Cartman fights with himself, it's hilarious!" Kyle laughed.

Stan smirked, his mind absent, at the rest of the cupcake on the plate.

"Cartman?" Stan then asked.

"Yeah?" He responded.

"Didn't you get Kenny inside you with something to eat?"

"Nah, I accidentally drank him." Cartman said and put the rest of the cupcake in his mouth.

"Well, then maybe..." Stan grinned. "You also have to get him outta you, like you do it with uhm, food usually..."

Cartman looked at Stan, shocked.

_"DUDE! SICK!"_Kenny shrieked in his high voice.

"Hey, I just-..."

"N...No way, dude!" Cartman and Kenny shook their head in denial.

"Well, how is it even in there, dude?" Kyle asked Kenny.

_"I miss my... Well-formed body."_Kenny said.

"AY!" Cartman crossed his arms. "My body is also well-formed!"

"A bit too well-formed, dude." Stan grinned.

"No, Kenny, I mean... Is it like it's your own body or... Just your soul flying around in there?"

"Dude..." Stan looked at Kyle as he'd be crazy.

"Yeah, well, I dunno, my soul's never been in another body before!" Kyle shrugged and then turned his look to Cartman.

_"Like it's my own body."_Kenny said.

"Oh, poor Kenny!"

Stan and Kyle laughed, but Cartman just watched them angrily.

"AY! If you're only gonna rip on me instead of helping us then we'll leave!"

"Ok, ok." Stan pointed upstairs. We could search in the internet for a solution!"

They went upstairs. Kyle and Stan sat in front of Stan's computer, Cartman lay on his bed. Stan and Kyle were browsing while Cartman just stared at the ceiling, whistling some song.

"Dude, I think we got something, Kyle said.

"Have a look at this."

Cartman got up and walked to the desk. "So?"

"We're on this site, there's this guy and he said once he also has had another soul trapped in his body!"

"Yeah, but how did he get rid of it?"

"He went to a man with experience in supernatural things."

"Like, with ghosts?"

_"But I'm not a ghost!"_Kenny spoke another time through Cartman's mouth.

"No, just supernatural things. I don't know..." Kyle turned around to Cartman. "But maybe we just should try it."

"Ok." Cartman shrugged. "Let's go and visit that guy tomorrow..."

He walked out the door and went to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and said: "I'll soon get you out of my body, Ken. And then I won't ever drink any souls again, this is unbearable!"

"_Yeah, fatass. I'm also fine to get out of here. Somehow it's getting boring."_

"Just wait 'til tomorrow, Ken."

Cartman washed his face with cold water, then he wanted to leave the bathroom.

_"When are you going to tell Kyle?"_

Cartman stopped moving. "Going to tell Kahl what?"

_"I know it, fatass, I can feel whatever you feel."  
_

_"So, when are you going to tell him?"_

"I AIN'T GONNA! THERE'S NO REASON TO DO SO!"

_"Why are you getting so upset, Cartman?"_

Kenny grinned, but Cartman soon got control over his mouth again.

"Just shut up, Ken!" He hissed.

_"I'm right, ain't I?"  
_  
"I hate the fuckin Jew!"

_"You don't."_ Kenny said calmly.  
_"I'm in your body, dammit, I can feel it!"_

"Goddammit, Ken, just shut the fuck up!"  
_  
"Sometimes I can even read what you think..."  
_  
"NO WAY! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS NOW?! FUCK, KEN, WHY NOT EARLIER?"

_"Maybe I'll soon get out of here."_

"You can't hear my thoughts, can ya? CAN YA?"

_"I can. Sometimes."_

"Oh, goddammit, Ken! You're an asshole! That's my fuckin business!"  
_  
"I know exactly how many times you've thought about Kyle."_

"I HAVEN'T. I HATE KAHL."

_"...you can't lie to someone who can read your thoughts and feel the same as you do."_

Cartman sat on the floor and buried his head in his palms.

"Goddammit, Ken." He whispered desperately.

His headache suddenly became less bad and he knew that Kenny had gone for a while again. After a while of just sitting there and thinking, he finally decided to stand up again.

He opened the door and went back to Stan's room, frowning.

Kyle and Stan were still sitting in front of his computer, laughing. Cartman closed the door and went to see what was so funny.

"What're you laughing at?" He asked.

"We're still in the thread with the people who have experienced supernatural things. There are really funny stories, dude..."  
Cartman just nodded then headed to the bed and buried his head in Stan's pillows. Kyle looked back; watched him for, like, a minute and then he got up and sat next to Cartman.

"What do you want, Jew?" The brunette murmured.

Stan was browsing through the internet, clicking on some random links. He heard them talking but wasn't listening actually.

"I just... You suddenly seem to be... A bit... Down?" Kyle asked carefully.

"It's nothing."

"Then why are you burying your head into Stan's pillows?"

The other boy just shrugged.

Kyle stood up again. He had had his arguments with Cartman, but if something was wrong with him, he'd care, though.

~  
After a while they decided to play some video games together but Cartman's mood still wasn't better than before. It was already late when they decided to go to sleep. Kenny had only shown for some seconds while the played but now he was gone again.  
Stan slept in his bed, Kyle and Cartman each got a mattress on Stan's floor. There wasn't even an argument today about that they had to sleep near each other.  
All of them fell asleep really fast, because they were damn tired.

It was still night and really dark, Stan snored but else it was pretty quiet as Kyle woke up because he felt that something wasn't how it should be.  
He turned around to see that Cartman had moved very close and even had put an arm half-way around him!

"Dude!" He hissed out to wake the boy next to him up.

"K- Kah... What?"

Cartman blinked. He could only see the dark silhouette of Kyle who lay in front of him. He realized where his arm lay and quickly withdrew it by sitting up. "I... I... Kahl, I was sleeping!"

"Can't you just, like, keep your arms by yourself, fatass?" Kyle whispered dryly. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Ugh, dude, calm down!" Cartman wanted to turn around and continue to sleep, but somehow he couldn't. He couldn't move. So he just lay there and looked at Kyle's silhouette.

"So are you gonna let me sleep now, or what?" Kyle lay down again and stared at Cartman.

Cartman nodded. Another try, but he failed again. He couldn't move how he wanted to. Instead of lying down again he raised his hand and grabbed Kyle's arm. "Ay..."

Kyle glanced angry at him and shook his arm. "Get your hand off me, fatass!"  
Cartman looked back, in shock. "I-... I can't!"

He needed a few seconds to understand. Kenny had taken full control over his body. Because he had only barely shown the whole day, he had enough strength to lead Cartman's body by his own now. Cartman felt helpless, but he couldn't do anything against it.

"I'll fuckin kill ya, Ken" Cartman hissed sharply.

_"I'm already dead, fatass."_Kenny replied quietly.

Kyle released himself out of Cartman's grip and then turned his back to him, groaning.

"Let me sleep now, Cartman!"

Cartman wanted to lie down, but Kenny didn't let him.

_"Nuh-uh"_ Kenny whispered_. "Kyle finally has to know."_

Cartman made a shocked face and shook his head. "N-No, Ken. You can't just-"  
_  
"I can."_Kenny sad softly.

"Cartman, shut up!" Kyle hissed.

_"Kahl?"_Kenny asked, imitating Cartman's voice.

"What, fatass?" Kyle asked back, not realizing it was actually Kenny he spoke to.

Cartman put his hand over his mouth to cover it.** 'NO, Kinneh, he doesn't need to know!'**Cartman thought, hoping Kenny will hear it.

_"He does. You'd be cute together, dude."_Kenny muffled into Cartman's hand.

**'WHAT?!'**Cartman thought.

Kenny forced Cartman to uncover his mouth and grabbed Kyle's arm. "Dude!" Kyle hissed and turned around in his bed, looking up to Cartman who still sat next to him.

"Kahl, I-… NO!"

Cartman began to shake his head wildly.

"Can't you just shut up? I want to sleep now. And don't wake Stan up, fatass."

Kyle lay on his back and closed his eyes.

Kenny made Cartman lean forward so that he needed his arms to prop his upper body up or he probably would have fell onto Kyle. Slowly Cartman's eyes adjusted to the darkness.  
His hands next to Kyle he was looking down, resting his look on Kyle's face.

**'...Kinneh, you don't dare to...'**He thought.

Kenny nodded with Cartman's head.  
_"I dare to."_ Kenny whispered.

In the same second as Kyle opened his eyes again annoyed because he wanted to ask if Cartman had said something, his lips met Cartman's.  
He withdrew after the second he needed to realize what was going on.  
Then Kyle moved his head back, staring at Cartman who stared back as shocked as Kyle.

"Dude..." Kyle finally said. Cartman just gaped.

Kyle changed his facial expression from surprised to angry. "What was that?!" He whispered harshly.  
Cartman still couldn't say something, so Kenny took control of his body another time.

_"A kiss."_Kenny answered.

"Yeah, dude, I know." Kyle said.  
_  
"You asked."_

"But I-"

Before Kyle could finish his sentence Kenny pushed Cartman's lips onto Kyle's again.  
Kenny thought his work was done and decided to let Cartman direct his body by himself again.  
Cartman withdrew immediately. He looked at Kyle beneath him.

"I-, uhm, That-… I mean, uh…" Cartman stuttered nervously.

"Go sleep, fatass!" Kyle murmured and rolled himself up in his blanket.

"Oh, ok" Cartman muttered dejectedly. Then he turned around, lay down and tried to forget what just happened.

He swallowed; the anger at Kenny made him choke. **'I hate you, Ken. Dammit, why did you do this to me?! Kinneeeeh, goddammit!' **Cartman thought.

Staring into the dark and biting his lower lip he waited, but Kenny didn't show. He lay in a fetal position; his back turned to Kyle.

A single tear ran down his cheek into the pillow he lay on. He sniffled then put his blanket more over his shoulder.

Suddenly he felt an arm around his chest pulling him back a little bit. Cartman smirked surprised. He lifted his hand and grabbed Kyle's arm to hold onto it and he smirked even more when he felt Kyle was kind of spooning him.

"Fuckin' fatass." Kyle muttered into Cartman's back. He grinned. "Stupid Jew." He muttered.

Only a minute and both of them were asleep.


End file.
